When negativity affects your life….
I know we all deal with negativity in it’s many forms each and every day.
We may be in a bad relationship with a parent, spouse, sibling or child. Maybe we have a sucky job or a boss we loathe. Maybe we have hillbilly neighbors or a drunken whore of a night nurse living across the street. Maybe we have too many bills to pay and not enough money coming in, creditors keep calling and the mailbox is getting full. Maybe we are unemployed and can’t find a job, or the bank foreclosed on the house and we’re just waiting for the sheriff to show up and help us move out. Maybe we’re driving a 1993 Cutlas Olds that’s falling apart piece by piece and the rear fender is tied up with a piece of rope.
The prices at retail and grocery stores go up a little more each week, gasoline prices are steadily climbing a few more pennies per gallon every other day. We are all tightening our belts, scrimping and saving and cutting costs where we can. But it just isn’t enough anymore….
Everywhere we look we see negativity, pain, strife, hardship and suffering. The news is full of stories about violence, death, horrific crimes, out of control weather systems and natural disasters.
I was just listening to the Fox News Channel [I keep a small 5" color TV on my work desk] and they just said that 10 years ago, in 1998, oil was $11.00 per barrel. If my facts are correct, today oil is $139.00 per barrel.
In Belgium people were fighting over gas prices which are at an all time high of $9.00 per gallon. Granted, most European countries have ‘health care for all’, and a higher minimum wage but nine bucks a gallon is STILL nine bucks a gallon!! When will our own government put the breaks on and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!?Do we have to wait until we are having gas wars and food riots? People are already inventing creative ways to steal gasoline and oil. Drilling holes in gas tanks, siphoning fuel from large farm generators. What has to happen before our government says NO! We will not buy your oil at these inflated prices!
Negativity will kill us. IF WE ALLOW IT! whether it’s in your personal life, professional life or on a national or global scale, negativity can only survive if we allow it to, so why don’t we stop it?
Maybe we are natural born problem solvers and if everything were ‘running smoothly’ we would instinctively do something to muck it up, just so we could fix it, and so on and so on. A viscious cycle that makes us feel useful and worthwhile.
I chose to turn my back on personal negativity that was adversely affecting my life…it took me many years before I finally realized that was what needed to be done if I were to save the life of a small child. A child who would eventually become my daughter.
That negativity was my older sister [we'll call her Marie]…I tried to accept her ‘afflictions’. I made excuses that perhaps being an alcoholic and drug addict was her birthright. Addictive behavior ran rampant in our bloodline and maybe she wasn’t strong enough to escape it. Every time she lied, cheated and stole, it was blamed on her addiction, it was like a big shield she could hide behind and no matter how evil the deed, she could always blame her illness, her disease. And believe me, she did some evil, nasty things over the years. I have been told I should forgive and forget. But I just can’t do it. Everytime I have forgiven her, every time I opened the door, she’d jam her foot in it so I couldn’t slam it shut in her face, and every single time she’d get even a toe hold, the scams, the lies, the bullshit would start all over again. Finally, I slammed that door shut, locked it, bolted it, hammered some heavy boards across it, tied it in chains and hid it behind a huge pile of big rocks! THAT DID IT.
The reason I couldn’t open the door is my daughter. HER daughter. A child the courts took away. A child the courts allowed me to adopt. A loving and beautiful child who I have raised as my own. A beautiful child who will soon be an adult. A child I promised to love, nurture and protect. Promises a birth mother was unable to keep because she was consumed with negativity.
Today, my sister is clean and sober. But I still don’t trust her, I don’t think I ever will. I’d like to be able to, but I just don’t think that will ever happen. I’m happy for her. But that’s as far as I can let it go, too much negativity has mucked up the water under this bridge.
…until tomorrow.
